Secret Burden

Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven,Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Hebrews 4:14-16

The older i get and the more i see of life i think more often then not everyone has a secret burden.
They come and go and change with each season of life. Something that is a pain in their heart, side or mind that doesn't seem to leave. Like Paul prayed for his 'thorn in his side' to be removed and we assume it never was cause he never said it was. Not sure what that was but he never got released from it. For some people its an illness, a secret battle they fight everyday alone. Others its a loss of a loved one, being single and surrounded by married people, or struggle to have babies or even the loss of a dream due to choices. There are more that i am sure you could add that you know about and that you may walk alone in.

God lead me to Hannah's story the other morning and even though i know that passage really well he made something stand out to me. As i read about hannah sobbing in prayer asking why has she been passed over and not able to have a child, pleading for one and 'lenting' that child to God IF he gave her one. Not sure how many years she had been praying and desiring this but we pick her up at the end. At the point to where she has so much faith and passion year after year asking God to give her a child and even promising to give that child to His service in the synagog.

It was here that i felt God say. It wasn't really about Hannah. It was about Samuel. He had a perfect plan for him and wanted him to be the solid and strong Prophet that Eli's son's couldn't be. Samuel's specific plan was to be in the synagog raised and taught early about hearing God. To know and be owned by God fully. If God did not hold off his hand of 'blessing' for Hannah she wouldn't have lented her child to God so dramatically. Her heart mattered to get to where God needed her son.

As i read this i saw that God's plan was greater than just Hannah. It was greater than even Samuel. It was for obedience and love that God withheld from Hannah. This was a simple truth that came thru to me that morning, its not always about me per-say but maybe just my heart. There is something greater going on. 

I hope this makes sense. I hope you see that sometimes we go thru battles because life is bigger than ourselves. I forget that. I am thankful for my husband who stands by me and prays with me thru everything. I have a hard time always sharing my continuous secret burden with friends, cause it never changes. This weekend i was graciously reminded by good friends, that they don't tire of it nor does God. That it strengthens their faith too, to pray with us and carry the burden a lil too.

The verse not only speaks about Jesus knowing about temptations but burdens. He was here with us and i bet he longed to be home with his Dad more than we could ever because he was from there. He knows what its like to long for something to change. He intercedes for us and gives us strength because he has walked it.
Thank you Jesus!!